This clever classification allows China to sidestep tougher emissions targets, all while pumping out record levels of coal-fired power and manufacturing the world’s solar panels in a glorious, soot-covered cycle of irony. In a recent 64-page report titled “Eventually, Maybe,” China outlined its plan to reach carbon neutrality by 2060, just as long as no one asks them to start now.

Of course, China isn’t the only one playing climate dodgeball. The United States once bravely led the world in emissions—then boldly decided to lead the world in quitting climate agreements. In 2017, under President Donald Trump, the U.S. pulled out of the Paris Agreement, claiming it was unfair to American workers and suspiciously beneficial to China. “It’s a bad deal,” Trump said, apparently mistaking the fate of the planet for a real estate transaction. The U.S. later rejoined under President Biden, swearing it was serious this time—probably.

Meanwhile, the rest of the world holds its breath, mostly because the air is full of smog. Island nations continue to sink while waiting for someone, anyone, to act. Developing countries plead for funding. And developed countries promise to help, right after they finish this oil deal.

For ordinary people, the Paris Agreement means hoping your country is reducing emissions while also being able to buy five-dollar t-shirts and same-day shipping. It means experiencing more heatwaves, floods, and freak weather while politicians debate whether trees count as offsets or accessories.

Still, hope is not entirely lost. China has vowed to lead the way eventually, possibly, maybe. It plans to stop emitting carbon the moment it finishes developing. And to critics who say that could take decades, China has a simple response:

“Relax. At least you’re still getting cheap phones, fast shipping, and suspiciously cheap inflatable hot tubs.”